


all thanks to alcohol

by sirnando



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship, mainly friend shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 19:10:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirnando/pseuds/sirnando
Summary: There was one room left over, two players. Zidane apologized for the inconvenience and suggested that they pull names out of a hat to determine who’d be stuck in the one bed option. But he was met with a chorus of Isco and Alvaro and Isco and Alvaro who were on opposite sides of the room just sighed in response. They’d been steering clear of one another ever since Isco sent Alvaro a nude of himself. Isco had been drunk, mind you. Yet everyone kept insisting that it didn’t make the situation less inappropriate.





	all thanks to alcohol

There was one room left over, two players. Zidane apologized for the inconvenience and suggested that they pull names out of a hat to determine who’d be stuck in the one bed option. But he was met with a chorus of _Isco and Alvaro_ and Isco and Alvaro who were on opposite sides of the room just sighed in response. They’d been steering clear of one another ever since Isco sent Alvaro a nude of himself. Isco had been drunk, mind you. Yet everyone kept insisting that it didn’t make the situation less inappropriate.

What? They were friends, Isco argued. Best friends if they were being technical. Except maybe Alvaro could’ve forgiven the incident if the circumstances had been different. Meaning: Alvaro was at a family gathering. A gathering where his Aunt Teresa begged him to show the rest of the aunts how _oh so cute_ his friend Isco was.

Snapchat from Isco. Perfect timing! And there was Isco and mini Isco, full brightness on Alvaro’s phone screen with great aunt screams as background music. A movie moment, really. The gathering halted to a stop before Alvaro’s cheeks were stained red with lipstick.

-

It was humorous to everyone but Alvaro and Isco. It became even less humorous when Alvaro reached the elevator first and Isco was forced to climb six flights of stairs.

Alvaro’s things were lying on the right side of the bed when he swiped in. But Isco wanted the right side. That’s where the problem began.

Because Alvaro claimed (when Isco politely shoved his stuff to the other end) that he had an emotional attachment to all things right since he was a child. “Like what?” Isco challenged. Well, for starters he was right handed. He drove on the right side of the road and if someone looked head on at him, the mole on his chin was on the right side.

Isco wasn’t satisfied with the reasoning, everything was applicable to any other person and if he drew a dot with a Sharpie onto his chin, their arguments would be parallel. So they decided to sleep with both heads on opposite sides of the bed. That way, both of them could have their left sides facing outwards in the morning.

Alvaro woke in the middle of the night to tape a note to Isco’s forehead. _Do you regularly wash your feet?_ so he wouldn’t forget to ask in the morning. His left side was going numb from sleeping on it, since turning around exposed him to a toxic wasteland.

-

The bathroom was its own problem. Whether it be from unconscious spite or insane coincidence, they both ended up needing to use the bathroom at the same time.

Two groggy figures rising up in the shadows, their scowls only visible once in the bathroom light.

“I have to go more.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I have to go _even_ more.”

“I’ve already trickled a bit on the mattress.” So with a look of disgust, Alvaro suggested they just go at the same time and close their eyes.

But the morning was no different. First, they grumbled about the excess pee droplets leftover on the toilet seat, as if either had the habit of being tidy with those matters.

Brushing teeth was discussed for ten minutes until Isco surrendered and stuck his head under the shower while Alvaro used the sink. Isco took the bathroom mirror to gel his hair, but refused to change into his clothes outside of it.

Alvaro rolled his eyes. “Haven’t I already seen all that there is to see?” Well, yeah, but it’d been virtual. “Circumstances become much more intimidating live.”

-

Of course the rest of the team was overly curious about how the night had progressed. Isco and Alvaro gave no details, just responded with “Perfectly civil,” because they were both aware of the eternity of pestering that any other response guaranteed.

People grew suspicious when at breakfast Alvaro stuffed a muffin onto his nose while inhaling deeply and repeating “Fuck, that piece of shit ruined my nostrils.”

-

They survived one night, they could survive two more.

On the second night, Isco agreed to the cologne soaked socks Alvaro offered him and Alvaro taped his mouth shut. “It’s for the sleep talking. Forgive me for not wanting to hear any more of your satanic chanting in the middle of a dark room.”

So it started off well. They automatically shut their eyes and pushed open the door to pee. Alvaro’s nostrils were feeling much better, Isco felt holy.

And then Isco started kicking. Hit Alvaro right in the small of his back and his hip.

And Alvaro started snoring loudly because the tape had clogged one of his breathing routes.

-

Alvaro woke up sore and limping while Isco didn’t have to wake up considering there’d been _no damned sleep in the first place_.

“How was the night?” _Perfectly civil_ , they said it simultaneously and frightfully enough for no one to ask any further.

-

They had run out of tape and deodorant. Alvaro winced in anticipation of the kicking, Isco prayed before bed.

So they lay there on that third night, eyes wide open, awaiting the next nightmare to begin. Until around three in the morning, Isco mumbled _alright that’s fucking enough_ and scooched up next to Alvaro at the head of the bed. He hoped it was an act worthy of forgiveness—he’d granted Alvaro his favorite side of the bed and a breath of fresh air.

They lay there comfortably at last, backs pressed against each other and both on the brink of sleep when Isco heard Alvaro whisper his name.

“What?”

“For the record, maybe my brain didn’t enjoy the photo in that moment, but mini Alvaro sure did.”


End file.
